Making Friends

Smile.
It is really not too difficult to be friendly. We just need to make a choice. Another woman approaches us at work We can put our head quickly down at our desk and duck out or we can meet her eyes with a nice smile. It is a very easy choice.

Ask questions about them.
One thing that we need to realize about people is that we are eternally interested in ourselves. Not just the self-absorbed people that make it obvious, but pretty much everybody is interested in themselves. Even me and you if you think about it. Whose picture do you look for first in a photograph?

So if we are interested mostly in ourselves and we want to make friends with someone else. Who should we talk about first? Who should we talk about most?

It is most effective to talk about them. And the best way to do that is to ask questions. “How is it going?”
“Do you live around here?”
“Is that a picture of your kids?””Are they into sports?”

Ask them questions about their family, their occupation and the things that they like to do for fun. The more we get them talking about themselves the more that they will like us.

Take time for your friend, but not too much time.
Once that we have a friend we need to take time to do things with them. See if they would like to come along when we go shopping, or have a coffee together. Ask them over for a meal or take in a fun event. Pay attention to the things that they like. How do they decorate their home? What kind of jewelry and accessories do they wear? Once you have got to know them for a month or so, it may be appropriate to pick up some small inexpensive item, that says, “I noticed that you like this kind of thing.”

With a new friend one should make a point of getting together about once a week. Call them for a phone conversation about once a week as well. Don’t overwhelm your friend with twelve calls a day, a list of fifty of your latest illnesses, and all of the dirty details of your recent divorce. Once you have built a friendship it will endure some hard times, but don’t pour buckets of slop on your new relationship or your new friend will change their phone number and suddenly need to stay home and wash her hair on the girl’s night out.